


Sessions

by cottoncandyboys (mik0rin)



Series: Soulmate!AUs [5]
Category: EXO (Band), SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Chanyeol Goes to Therapy, Depression, M/M, Producer Lee Jihoon | Woozi, Producer Park Chanyeol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-02
Updated: 2019-08-02
Packaged: 2020-06-29 04:55:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19822978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mik0rin/pseuds/cottoncandyboys
Summary: Chanyeol is lost but he is willing to change that.





	Sessions

**Author's Note:**

  * For [clandestine_xo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/clandestine_xo/gifts).



> HELLO! I am so happy that I managed to finish this story in time and in a way that made me happy. Thank you for all the great prompts, I tried my best to mix two of my favorite ones because I had the hardest time choosing just one, this ended up being mostly a story about Chanyeol overcoming difficulties and I hope you enjoy it~
> 
> Chanyeol is a little projection of myself and this made it extra special to me, the therapy session were based on what i experienced in it to this day
> 
> I hope this is of your liking ♡
> 
> ps: some 96 liners appear but I did not tag them since they are just small cameos

Chanyeol puts his headphones down around his neck when his stomach complains about the lack of food in his system for the past hours, the music blasting from it still. He scratches a spot on his wrist and sighs, the jet black ink painting his skin feels like it's glaring at him with all its zeros. Then, he takes a peek behind the curtains and notices that the sky is dark. So much for his plans on trying to be productive.

With much difficulty, he gets up and leaves the headphones on the desk, closing his laptop, the music stops, and turning the lights of the room on. His eyes are not used to the clarity so he closes them, rubbing them softly. On his way to the kitchen Chanyeol decides on making for himself the easiest thing he can get his hands on - instant noodles then, the unhealthiest thing he could choose, the sodium bomb his mom always complains that he consumes way too much. Chanyeol's energy is nearing the negatives so there's nothing much to be done about it.

Once back into his bedroom, Chanyeol throws his body down on the mattress, the blankets a mess but he could care less, all he does is cover himself. Sleep does not come easy for him, over an hour of tossing and turning. A small voice at the back of Chanyeol's mind tells him that he should at least brush his teeth and take a quick shower but, just then, his eyelids feel heavy and he's snoring softly against his pillow.

The blackout curtains prevent Chanyeol from knowing whether it's morning, afternoon or night, especially since he always sleeps with them tightly blocking any outside light from entering the room. When he stirs awake, his eyelids _still_ heavy, Chanyeol forces himself out of bed and pulls the curtains to the side, revealing the daylight. The sun is high up in the sky, indicating that it's probably past noon already and that Chanyeol has slept for over ten hours - as usual. A groan escapes his thin lips, his hair all disheveled and even more so when he messes it all up in slight frustration, his fingers tangling on the strands and he winces, falling back on his bed and thinking if there's anything he has to do.

"Obviously," he mumbles to himself, voice muffled by his pillow. Chanyeol always has things to be done, he just never gets to it. He reaches blindly for his phone on the nightstand and the device falls down to the floor with a loud thud. When it is in the safety of his hands, he checks the number of notifications - a lot more than he wants it to be - and it shows him just how much he has been neglecting social interaction, also due to the fact that it's almost running out of battery. The charger is still plugged on the outlet behind his bed so it's easy to fix this part but the same cannot be said about the million of missed calls from his friend and colleague Jongdae and his boss Taeyeon, followed by a series of angry texts from the latter.

There's evident hesitation on checking all of the messages, Chanyeol checks them on the notification bar but it's not enough to tell the contents of the chats, his index finger hovers over the icon. In the end he clicks it, taking a deep breath and checking Jongdae's first. Most of his messages show worry, asking how he is and what he is up to.

( **kjd:** It's been two weeks since boss gave you this break from work and we haven't got a single sign of life from you!)

( **kjd:** why the hell ain't you answering me??)

He feels bad. And then he feels tired. Chanyeol doesn't have the energy to explain, so he just send a fake reassuring message and closes the chat, opening _Taeboss_ and flinching when the texts are in full view, he ignores the angry messages and reads just the long one that seems important.

" _I know we are in no place to judge you or anything but we still want to know how you are doing. We are all well aware that you're not in a good condition currently but, as friends, we care for you and worry. So I hope you're taking proper care of yourself. However, I am still your boss and your short break is coming to an end this Friday. I expect to see you in my office at eight o'clock sharp. If you're not there by then, be assured that Jongdae and I will be knocking on your door and forcing you out of your apartment. Don't make this a challenge._ "

Chanyeol doesn't answer. Instead, he puts his phone back to where it was before and rolls over until his back is against the cold wall. His eyes close and a heavy sigh is released through his nose. There is nothing to be done, he _will_ have to be at the company in less than three days - he still works there after all - and Chanyeol is definitely not looking forward to it.

Despite all his hoping that Friday wouldn't come, it wasn't more than just wishful thinking. Chanyeol wakes up wanting to go back to sleep. His limbs are heavy and he can't stop yawning even though he slept so much. His phone buzzes and he sits up quickly, reaching out for it and groaning when he sees the caller ID.

He hesitates before answering it.

"Yes?" he greets and winces when a loud _You!_ is said from the other side of the line. "Of course I am going! You don't have to call me so early!! What?!!" he puts the phone away from his ear and checks the time. "I gotta go!" he yells and hangs up, kicking his blankets off and thanking the heavens that he showered last night already because there is no time for it now. Chanyeol rummages through his clothes and finds what looks more decent and puts it on, a clean pair of jeans - at least he thinks they're clean - and one of his graphic tees along with a random hoodie he finds hanging behind the door.

He pats his pockets to be sure that he's bringing his wallet and checks the time on his phone. It's almost ten, he managed to get ready in record time but he still has to run in order to get to the company sooner.

The drive takes less than ten minutes and Chanyeol is glad because he knows he's going to get some scolding, taking longer would mean Taeyeon would just be even angrier. He parks the car and uses the stairs because the elevator always takes decades to arrive. Instead of knocking on the door, Chanyeol bursts inside Taeyeon's office and almost dies due to how much out of breath he is.

"Finally!" she exclaims and puts her phone down on the table, motioning for Chanyeol to take the chair right in front of her. "I thought you weren't going to show up."

If there is one thing Chanyeol can say right now is that he is scared, Taeyeon hasn't yelled at him the moment she saw him and she's even nurturing a wide smile.

"Sorry, I lost track of time," Chanyeol says and takes the seat, sighing and brushing his messy hair with his fingers when he notices Taeyeon staring. "Is this a meeting?"

Taeyeon takes out her laptop from under the desk, probably from inside her briefcase or whatever, and types a little before turning the screen to Chanyeol and pointing a finger to a chart.

"This is the last time you made a song," she says and Chanyeol nods slowly. "Do you know how long it's been? Three months, you haven't been productive in _three months_! Now look, I'm not about to fire you but I'm worried because you used to make one song per week and they'd all be at the top of the charts for at least two months and still remembered to this day."

"I'm just having a bad block," Chanyeol says and Taeyeon rolls her eyes at him. "I mean it."

"Now now, that's not what I called you here for," Taeyeon shakes a dismissive hand and Chanyeol is confused because he was sure Taeyeon would be doing some scolding by now but she's looking worried and excited at the same time, he didn't know that was possible until now. "Do you remember how we chose you to start working for us right when you were fresh out of university?"

Chanyeol pauses, tries to think about it but his memory is not that good so he doesn't remember anything aside from working there since forever - it's been about four years.

"Chanyeol, _really_?" Taeyeon sighs and rubs her forehead, she even closes her eyes for a bigger effect. "Taemin chose his favorite song from a bunch of submissions sent to our company by rookie producers and it's thanks to him that you're here today. Jongdae, Jaehyung, Heeyeon and Byulyi were chosen the same way by our other four main producers."

Chanyeol nods and tilts his head, raising an eyebrow and trying to figure out what she's trying to tell him.

"What about it?" he asks since he's actually curious to now where she wants to go with all this.

"We have received a bunch of submissions as usual and you're in charge of choosing one of them," Taeyeon says without taking her eyes off her laptop. "I have just added you to this shared Dropbox folder with all the submissions, they're organized by number and you won't know who sent it until you make your choice. You have the weekend to come to a conclusion and I'll be waiting for you here, at eight o'clock sharp on Monday. I'm hoping you won't be late again."

"Alright," Chanyeol gets up when he assumes she's done talking and waves once before turning his back and leaving.

He wanders around the floor, passing by the coffee machine and getting himself something before going down to the fifth floor where he has a small studio in the company.

"Chanyeol!" he hears Jongdae's voice coming from the break room once he sets foot on the right floor and turns around, seeing then his friend's face peeking from the door. "I thought I'd never see you again."

Chanyeol loves Jongdae but he is tired and he wants to go to his office and take a nap.

"Come here!" Jongdae yells and Chanyeol is alarmed because Jaehyung and Byulyi work at the end of the corridor and they're loud and Chanyeol doesn't want to interact right now. He rushes to where Jongdae is and allows his friend to give him a tight hug. "I missed you, I had no one to talk to! Jaehyung and the others are so damn loud!"

Chanyeol laughs at that and nods, he sees the trash can by his side and drops the paper cup he used for his coffee.

"How are you?" Jongdae asks and takes his mug, sipping what looks like coffee.

"I'm fine," Chanyeol lies and gives him one big smile, covering the fact that he just wants to be locked inside his apartment, alone. "Actually, I have to go now and work a little on some stuff I put aside. I'll see you around."

"Alright," Jongdae says back and turns around to focus on what he was doing before, he's the one who's usually at the break room making something to eat or drink so that's probably it. Chanyeol doesn't say a word and leaves quickly, entering his studio and locking it. He leans against the door and closes his eyes, sighing deeply and kicking his shoes off when he sits down on the big couch he has there.

He sure is tired and he knows he should work a little but he doesn't have anything in mind. It's awful because he remembers a time where his mind would be bursting with ideas all the time and he felt like twenty-four hours a day just were not enough for him to do everything he wanted to but now he just doesn't want to do anything. He taps the light switch and darkness engulfs him, just like he is used to. Sleep comes easily to him and he's soon snoring.

When Chanyeol wakes up, it's because someone is knocking on the door. He sits up and groans, not liking that he was woken up so abruptly. He stands up slowly.

"I'm going," he says loudly and the knocking ceases. When he opens the door, he has to hold back a groan. Jaehyung is standing there with a big smile plastered on his lips, his stylish aviator glasses perched on the bridge of his nose and his small eyes crinkling as he keeps the smile on.

"Hello!" he greets and forcefully hugs Chanyeol, pulling him out of the still dark studio - since it has no windows. "We're going to grab something to eat, wanna come with us? Keep in mind that you can't decline it."

"Sure, why not?" Chanyeol shrugs and follows Jaehyung. Byulyi, Heeyeon and Jongdae join them at the entrance of the building and they set off to a restaurant nearby.

At the end of the day Chanyeol is more tired than usual but at least he can say that he left his apartment and did something different.

The very next day, Chanyeol wakes up late. It's past lunchtime and he blames it on the fact that he didn't manage to fall asleep before midnight despite all his attempts - he even went to bed when it was around ten but sleep never comes when he is actually supposed to be sleeping. The room is as dark as usual but he sees his phone light up an arm away from him, that makes Chanyeol sit up and take a look at it.

**kjd:** did u already choose someone?

 **kjd:** i'm having a hard time but i think i might have found the one

 **kjd:** i'm calling dibs on number 26, so do not steal it from me

Chanyeol sends him a vague reply and sets his phone aside, stretching his long limbs and forcing himself out of his comfortable bed. He takes about ten minutes to grab something to eat in the kitchen and comes back to the living room, sitting at the table and turning his laptop on.

The email notifying that he was added to the Dropbox folder as Taeyeon has said is sitting there on his inbox, waiting for him. He clicks the link and stares at the folder for at least a minute, scrolling down to the last submission that's numbered _50_. He really didn't expect it to have so many - but then, he remembers that he works at a big company, so it's only logical that many people would want to be part of it when they're finally hiring.

This is going to take a really long time and he assumes it is also going to be quite hard to decide on someone. It might even take the whole weekend, Chanyeol is an indecisive person most of the time.

Since it is inevitable that he decides on someone, he starts already. Clicking on the first song and listening to it intently from beginning to end. He grabs a notepad when the recording is over, seeing that he has a lot of songs to listen to and narrowing it down to only one will be very hard.

Chanyeol spends his whole afternoon listening to the songs and repeating his favorite ones. It's so hard because Chanyeol is very critic but he's also very surprised at the quality of the productions. By the end of the night, Chanyeol is stuck between his two most favorite songs. One is an acoustic ballad with strong vocals, whoever the producer chose did justice to it. The other is a more upbeat one, the person who sang it matches really well the style and Chanyeol really doesn't know which one is his favorite.

He spends at least ten minutes sat in the dark, the only source of light is his laptop. He's hungry and tired so Chanyeol decides to let it rest, maybe by tomorrow his mind and ideas will be clearer and it'll be easier to come to a conclusion. His stomach growls when he stands up, Chanyeol checks the time on his phone and drags himself to the kitchen. The apartment has no lights on, the streetlamps illuminate Chanyeol's place briefly and just when he makes it to the kitchen does he finally decide to use the electricity he pays for.

With the leftover kimchi his mother brought him the last time she visited - about two weeks ago, he's not too sure -, Chanyeol makes himself some kimchi pancakes. That's one of the most decent meals he has had in a long time.

His Sunday starts early. Chanyeol is not certain why he gets up from his bed before ten but he does. He is truly surprised when he takes a look at the clock. Instead of wasting time doing nothing, Chanyeol sits down in front of his laptop and decides to give it a listen to the two songs he selected the previous day, who knows if today he will manage to come to a decision - not counting that he needs to decide on it by tomorrow morning.

Even though he hasn't been feeling that great, Chanyeol still has a big passion for music and working with it, he manages to invest himself a little more than usual this time and spends a lot of his Sunday thinking over the songs, even listening to them throughout the day. He catches himself thinking more about one than the other and that's when he knows he has found his choice. The melody is stuck in his head and the lyrics automatically leave his lips, it's almost like a bubble gum glued to his mind, not including the fact that the song is really well made - just like the others - and it's not literally the bubble gum type of song.

Chanyeol goes to sleep early - he even falls asleep easily -, not even having dinner since he ate something in the middle of the afternoon. He really doesn't want to be late the next day.

There is surprise etched on Taeyeon's face when she sees Chanyeol right on time the next day. She waves him over and points to the chair in front of her big boss desk.

"It's so nice to see you here so early," she exclaims and, despite it all, Chanyeol beams brightly at her. "How was your weekend?"

"It was good," Chanyeol lies a little, it wasn't really that good but it was better than the usual.

"That's nice to know," she replies and fumbles around with some papers. "About the thing we talked about on Friday," she starts without looking up at Chanyeol, Taeyeon then lifts the screen of her laptop and puts both hands in front of herself, staring at Chanyeol in the eyes. "Did you get anywhere with it?"

Chanyeol takes a deep breath and scratches the back of his neck briefly.

"I suppose so," he says and Taeyeon looks pleased. "I really liked entry number thirty-seven."

At his words, Taeyeon nods slowly and types something down on her laptop.

"Anything you want to say about it?" she asks and Chanyeol says no with a slight shake of his head. "Alright, thanks for all the help. I'll let you know when everything is settled. It might take around a week until we get to hire all the producers that are selected due to all the formality and paperwork but it won't be long."

Chanyeol nods slowly and tries to understand why she's telling him all that.

"Oh, right," she snaps her finger and gives Chanyeol her attention back. "We weren't requiring this when you got into the company but since the beginning we have noticed how lost our rookies get when they first entered the company and we decided to do something about it now. So we started putting the producers who chose them to work as their mentors for some time, showing how everything works and just being of help. It helps us build a friendly atmosphere at work as well."

There are no words for Chanyeol to express how much he does not want to do this. He is not as social as people assume he is, his front is just a matter of politeness since that in order to be in the music industry business you need a big network even if you're just a producer - which is already a lot because Chanyeol learned through the years that working with production is a big responsibility.

"I'm looking forward to this, Chanyeol, I really am. You have been here for a long time and, these past years, I have watched you close yourself in your own little world," Taeyeon says and Chanyeol feels himself shrinking, not literally since he is a giant next to her, but it hits him where it hurts. "And I say this as someone who truly cares about you," she stares deeply at Chanyeol's eyes and he doesn't even have the guts to look away from her stern gaze. "You really should go look for professional help."

He just nods and Taeyeon smiles at him, a hint of sadness is there and it sticks to Chanyeol's memory for a very long time.

At the end of the day, he's made an appointment at a nearby therapist for himself.

If there is something Chanyeol is feeling, it's anxiety.

He has never been to therapy and all he has heard of is that only crazy people go to it.

He is not crazy.

His hands are trembling when he knocks on the door with the plaque that reads "Kim Dongyoung, Psychology Office".

He hears the sound of footsteps nearing the door and the key turning it open. A rather young man answers the door and Chanyeol stares at him without knowing what to say.

"Are you Park Chanyeol?" the man asks, Chanyeol only nods. "I'm Kim Dongyoung as this says," he taps the plaque twice, Chanyeol nods again. "Let's get inside my office."

Chanyeol follows him and the surroundings are different from what he expected. The room is rather small and there isn't much to look at inside it.

"You can sit there," Chanyeol is startled by the voice but follows the instructions. "You can just call me Dongyoung, I'm here to help you with whatever you need."

"Right," Chanyeol says and plays with his fingers as he looks down at the carpet, without noticing he tries to make himself look smaller.

"So?" Dongyoung holds his hands together and sits down on his own armchair, making himself comfortable and reaching out for a clipboard that was placed beside his seat. "What brings you here?"

"I'm not sure," Chanyeol trails off and Dongyoung writes something down and Chanyeol looks alarmed.

"Don't worry," Dongyoung says when he notices the look on Chanyeol's face. "I'm only writing things down so I won't forget about the important stuff you tell me, I have a good memory but like they say, better safe than sorry."

The tension in Chanyeol's body seem to lower and he lets go of a deep breath.

"So you told me you're not sure why you're here," Dongyoung starts when Chanyeol remains silent and back at looking down at the carpet. "Did anything happen that got you looking for my help? How have you been lately? Do you think you're different or that your behavior is not as normal as before?"

"Well, yes," Chanyeol answers the last question and fixes the way he's sitting, putting himself a little more straight and finally looking at Dongyoung as he speaks. "My friends think I've closed myself and that I'm distancing from everything. I also have not been doing as well as I used to at work."

Dongyoung quickly scribbles a few notes down and nods at Chanyeol.

"And do you think you've done that?"

There's a moment of silence and Dongyoung only looks at Chanyeol, waiting for him to feel comfortable enough to keep talking.

"I do, actually, I think I've changed," Chanyeol replies and feels his insides feel warm when he admits that out loud.

"Would you like to go further into that matter?" Dongyoung asks and Chanyeol nods hesitantly. "Could you then tell me how you think you have changed and how this bothers you to a point that you've decided to seek for help?"

Chanyeol starts talking and he feels the tight lump on his throat unwinding.

"Chanyeol! Chanyeol!"

It's Heeyeon calling him as soon as he steps foot into the company and Chanyeol stares at her in surprise.

"What?"

"It's them," she points to a small group of people at the other end of the lounge and Chanyeol has to squint because they're actually quite far.

"Them who?" he asks in confusion.

"The kids we chose!" she exclaims and Chanyeol is curious to know who's the producer of that song he loved so much but he also doesn't want to think about the tutoring at all. "Hey, Chanyeol!" she calls again but Chanyeol is rushing to get the elevator and go to his studio so he can attempt to work. "Chanyeol!"

Heeyeon doesn't follow him but keeps on calling his name, gathering unwanted attention from whoever is in the lounge. Chanyeol feels his cheeks warm in embarrassment but doesn't mind it much. At least he's not the one yelling randomly.

He enters his studio quickly and locks the door.

Yesterday at the therapist went well but Chanyeol doesn't feel like he has changed much. Of course, he's not going to change with just one session but he had this tiny hope that he would. To a certain degree, he feels just a little happy that he actually made it to his workplace instead of being closed up at his apartment. As he turns his equipment up, he wonders if he's going to be any productive.

At the end of the day, he's devastated because the only thing he did was listen to his old songs and wonder where all that inspiration that he exhaled went.

It's right before going back home on Thursday night that Taeyeon calls everyone to her office.

Chanyeol is the last one to arrive because he was all the way down in the building, already with his car keys in hand. He's surprised when he sees unfamiliar faces sitting down on one of Taeyeon's couches.

"Chanyeol, sit down next to your friends," Taeyeon says and he does so, looking disoriented. "Now that we're all here, let's finally start with the introductions."

"What introductions?" Chanyeol whispers to Jongdae who's right next to him. Jongdae elbows him and Chanyeol shuts up, waiting then for Taeyeon to explain it further - but she, in fact, does not explain a thing.

"Twenty-six," is all Taeyeon says and a girl stands up with a big smile on her lips. Chanyeol observes as Jongdae jumps from his seat and shakes her hand vigorously.

"Jennie Kim," the girl introduces herself and smiles at all of them before sitting back down.

"Forty-nine."

Another girl stands up at the same time as Byulyi and they both hug instead of shaking hands, Byulyi accidentally manhandling the girl.

"I'm Woo Jiyoon," she says and sits down, putting a hand on her head and looking a little startled.

"Three."

"I'm Lim Changkyun," the boy whose number was called stands up almost shouting his name and Chanyeol is not surprised when Jaehyung is the one shaking hands with him.

"Seventeen."

The boy gets up awkwardly and bows at Heeyeon and everyone else.

"Choi Youngjae," he says and shakes hands with Heeyeon. Chanyeol fixes his gaze on the last one and ignores what's going on around him - Youngjae is smiling at all of them and then sits down.

Before Chanyeol can think more about anything, Taeyeon calls. "Thirty-seven!"

He stands up automatically and stares at the boy across from himself.

"I'm Lee Jihoon, nice to meet you," he introduces himself and bows, Chanyeol reaches out for a handshake but Jihoon only stares at it, then sits down and looks at Chanyeol from where he is.

"That's a wrap then, I'm hoping you guys will get along well. Starting next week, the tutoring will begin," Taeyeon says as she looks around at everyone, giving Chanyeol a one second longer stare before she walks up to her desk. "You're all dismissed."

They start emptying the office room and go towards the elevator. Chanyeol observes as Jihoon takes large steps, looking like he really wants to leave.

"How about we go out for drinks?" Jaehyung suggests and is met with claps and chatter erupts in the corridor as they wait for the elevator. "There's a nice pub two blocks from here, we can all walk together and know each other better."

"I pass," Chanyeol says at the same time as Jihoon, they exchange surprised glances and everyone's talking stops.

"I'm still settling on my new place," Jihoon explains and points out to the emergency stairs. "I gotta leave now, see you Monday."

He makes a run for it and nobody has the time to stop him from leaving. Jongdae gives Chanyeol a look full of hope but Chanyeol avoids his eyes when he shrugs.

"I'm really tired," he says, it's not a lie but he knows he could make the effort to go with his friends, but he just doesn't feel like it right now. "I need to prepare myself for next week as well."

"Right," Heeyeon pats his back and pushes him into the elevator, they fill it up and Chanyeol is squeezed on the corner against Jaehyung's trainee.

"This looks promising," he hears Changkyun whispering to Jennie and he sighs.

 _Yeah, very promising_ , Chanyeol thinks and leans against the cold metal wall.

In the end, Chanyeol spends the weekend sleeping. By the time it's Monday, he's anxious and ends up waking up early, which is actually good since Chanyeol has another therapy session with Dongyoung.

"And you dismissed the chance of going out of your routine?" Dongyoung questions him and Chanyeol sighs loudly. "Why?"

"I don't know," he replies, exasperated. "I didn't feel like it. The trainees looked nice and all but I was also so tired, I thought going home was the best option."

Dongyoung puts down the clipboard - he hasn't written on it much today - and places both hands on top of his knees. "How about the trainee you're in charge of?"

"He didn't look that nice," Chanyeol pouts and crosses his arms. "He didn't even shake hands with me."

"And did you actually want to shake hands with him?" Dongyoung asks. Chanyeol pursues his lips and tries to think about.

"Not necessarily," he answers after a few seconds and keeps the thoughtful face on. Dongyoung doesn't push him and lets silence fills the room. "I also think that I shake hands with everyone more out of habit than anything."

"Habit?"

"Well, yes," Chanyeol answers. "I mean, there used to be a purpose behind it years ago. You know how everyone has that countdown to meeting their soulmate on their wrist? I don't have a countdown."

Dongyoung nods slowly and waits for Chanyeol to elaborate it better.

"I read it on the internet that it's a rare thing but some more people don't have countdowns. Mine is full of zeros and, if the internet is right, it's supposed to start working as soon as I touch my soulmate."

"Interesting," Dongyoung comments and Chanyeol nods because he actually thinks so too. "Are you concerned about never meeting your soulmate?"

"Not anymore," Chanyeol says. "But I guess old habits die hard."

After lunch, Chanyeol goes to work. He talked out with Taeyeon the previous day about covering only afternoon and evening at the company instead of morning, since he's not that good at waking up early and functioning in the morning.

As soon as he enters the company, he sees Jihoon sitting down on one of the many couches they have in the lounge. On Friday, he was too tired and dazed with everything to pay attention to his trainee but now that he is - supposedly - well rested, he notices that Jihoon is a lot shorter than he is.

"Hello," he says in order to call Jihoon's attention and shoves his hands inside the pocket of his jacket.

"Finally," Jihoon groans and stands up, Chanyeol observes as he licks his lips and clears his throat. "I mean, hello."

Chanyeol nods at him, acknowledging the reply.

"Let's go somewhere we can talk about work," he says and tries to act more professional than he feels. Chanyeol feels like he needs to pass confidence to the person he's helping out. He doesn't want to screw things up. "We can use my studio."

Nothing more is said before Chanyeol starts walking. He hears Jihoon's footsteps behind himself and doesn't look back. They ride the elevator up to the fifth floor and Chanyeol is surprised when he sees Jongdae and Jennie in the break room, he even stops on his way and forgets Jihoon is walking behind him.

"I would appreciate if you didn't stop walking out of the blue," Jihoon says and glares at Chanyeol.

"My bad," Chanyeol says and waves at Jongdae when his friend sees him. "Let's get going," he already fishes for his keys and sighs in relief when he remembers they're along with his car's. "Don't mind the mess."

"I'll try," Jihoon says and follows Chanyeol inside. He snorts when Chanyeol turns the lights on. "Well."

"I meant it," Chanyeol groans, closing the door and kicking two pairs of sneakers under the couch. "I'm not the tidiest person you will meet," he gathers his coats that were thrown on the floor on a chair and drops his backpack on the coach.

"I can see that," Jihoon says in amusement and takes a seat right next to Chanyeol's backpack. "How did you even manage to get this place so cluttered?"

Chanyeol doesn't answer him right away, he's putting his stuff away and getting his hands on all the trash he finds around.

"I get distracted easily," Chanyeol says and throws the plastic packages on the trash by the door. "And I like to feel at home when I'm working."

"Does it mean you house is like this?" Jihoon asks and stares at the rug with a red stain on it. "Is that blood?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Chanyeol dismisses him and stares at the red spot. "It's from the kimchi I dropped some months ago. I scrubbed it with soap, alright? It's supposed to be clean."

"Right," Jihoon narrows his eyes at it and then takes his own backpack off and places it on his lap. "I have some stuff to do today, do you think this whole tutoring thing is going to take long? What does our boss want you to teach me?"

Chanyeol sits down on his chair and leans against its backrest.

"I'm not sure," Chanyeol says and sighs, closing his eyes and wondering why he needs to go through this when all he wants to do is rest. "I assume you learned all you have to know in university."

"While you figure out what you have to do," Jihoon says, taking out what looks like his laptop from the backpack. "Would you mind if I worked on some of my things here?"

"Go on," Chanyeol says and turns around, staring at the screen of his computer.

Things end up going exactly like this the whole week. Chanyeol and Jihoon only stay in the same room but they don't interact much and he doesn't do any tutoring. He's not sure how things are supposed to go, but he's sure it's not this way.

Chanyeol wonders if he should ask him colleagues but he doesn't want to bother them. He also doesn't want to show that he's completely clueless as how to do this, he's never done it before.

"And you feel useless," Dongyoung says and Chanyeol nods, looking down at his hands. "Have you tried searching on the internet for what to do in these situations? I mean, I have never had to train anyone but someone out there must have to and maybe they shared how."

"Never thought about this," Chanyeol says, feeling dumb. "I'm so stupid."

"Now, I don't think calling yourself that is going to help you," Dongyoung says and Chanyeol looks miserable. "What do you plan on doing about this?"

"I want to go home and sleep," Chanyeol moans into his hands and Dongyoung rubs his forehead once. "I don't want to do this anymore. I'm tired."

"I know this situation is not good and that giving up and going home is the best option," Dongyoung says and waits until Chanyeol looks at him properly. "But as someone who wants to see you well, I think facing this will be good for you. You'll get out of your routine and I feel like you'll feel better if you're successful, don't you think?"

Chanyeol closes his eyes and lets his arms fall to his sides.

"I don't know," Chanyeol sits up straight and sighs, he gives Dongyoung a pitiful look but that doesn't make him waver. "Maybe."

Dongyoung nods and takes a look at his wristwatch.

"I'll try it okay," Chanyeol says finally. "I'll try it and I'll tell you next time how it went."

Chanyeol believes his own words and the smile on Dongyoung's lips tell him that he might be on the right course.

Chanyeol is surprised at himself when he wakes up with his first alarm.

He kicks his blankets away and decides to do what Dongyoung told him the previous day. So he searches the internet and comes across a page that gives a few tips on what he's needing help with.

It advises knowing the person he's working with and just then Chanyeol realizes that all he knows about Jihoon is his name. He has never asked anything else and they have never talked about anything, at all.

Since Chanyeol doesn't want to come across as someone nosy and rude, he decides to print out his questions and ask Jihoon to answer them when they're together at work. He hopes he can do a proper job.

"I just don't get how this is going to help with anything," Jihoon says when Chanyeol explains what he wants him to do and gives his trainee the piece of paper with questions.

"I think I need to know you better in order to work well with you," Chanyeol says and hopes that's enough to convince Jihoon.

"Are you a cat or dog person? How is this going to help you?" Jihoon questions and gives Chanyeol a skeptical look.

"Taeyeon told me she wants everyone to be friends and I don't think we can be friends if we don't have much in common. We'll end up fighting a lot," Chanyeol explain and flinches internally at how lame that sounds but Jihoon seems to buy it because he starts answering his questions.

"Here," Jihoon throws the paper to Chanyeol once he's done. "I answered everything, I still don't know how this is going to help."

Chanyeol reads over Jihoon's answers and nods in satisfaction.

"I think we can get started," Chanyeol says and rolls his chair until he's in front of Jihoon on the couch. "There's nothing I can teach you about music producing but I can help you out with the people who work here and how to do things that do not involve what you were hired for."

"That's interesting, go on."

"First, don't ever order the americano at the coffee machine, it's crap."

"Too bad," Jihoon scrunches his nose. "I have already done that."

They both laugh and Chanyeol is finally sure they're going places.

"And I haven't written a single piece for over three months," Chanyeol sighs and covers his face with both hands.

"And what's the matter with that?" Dongyoung asks and Chanyeol glares at him.

"You don't understand, it's my _job_. I _have_ to write songs," he almost shouts but he holds himself back, he feels awful and he hates acknowledging that he's not being productive as he used to. "But I just can't. It's like there's a block in my mind and all my inspiration vanishes."

"Do you think that's what has been affecting you with everything?"

"I do, in fact, think so," Chanyeol nods and taps one of his feet nervously on the floor. "It's been bothering me and I feel like I am useless."

"You demand too much of yourself," Dongyoung tells Chanyeol. "What used to be something fun and good for you turned into an obligation but I'm sure you're aware of that."

"I am," Chanyeol admits and sinks lower on the couch. "And I don't know how to change that."

"You could change the way you try to come up with songs," Dongyoung suggests and Chanyeol looks thoughtful. "Maybe what worked is not effective as it used to be."

That whole talk gives Chanyeol an idea and he hopes it will work out.

It's Friday already and Chanyeol decides to put his idea into practice.

"So you're telling me you want help?" Jihoon asks and Chanyeol nods. "My help."

"Well, I _am_ asking you, right?" Chanyeol says and looks expectantly at Jihoon.

"Help with song production?" Jihoon looks at him with a confused expression on his face. "Why?"

"Don't ask me why, I just need help," Chanyeol says and sits down right next to Jihoon. "How do you come up with new songs?"

"It's not that difficult," Jihoon says slowly, picking up his laptop from his backpack.

"You can use my equipment," Chanyeol offers and Jihoon puts his stuff back where it was. Jihoon is a little dubious and seems to take it with a pinch of salt, Chanyeol doesn't blame him because he knows he's acting odd.

"Alright, I'll show you," Jihoon sits down and cracks his knuckles.

It takes him three hours to come up with something from scratch. Chanyeol is surprised and amazed.

"And what about the lyrics?"

"I usually have something I wrote that fits it," Jihoon explains and Chanyeol is in awe, he has never done that before, write stuff without thinking about the whole song that is. "But that's about it, it's not that special, I have had classmates that wrote things in the blink of an eye. I was just regular in my class."

"That's pretty amazing, if what I say has any validation," Chanyeol tells him and Jihoon seems to believe his words because he looks bashful. "I think we have worked enough for today, we should leave."

"Alright," Jihoon replies and gets up, he turns the equipment off and they exit the studio, taking the elevator together.

"Thanks for the help, really," Chanyeol says as they walk into the lounge. "I really needed some help."

"That's fine, I'm glad I-"

Chanyeol reaches out and grabs Jihoon's wrist, holding him in place and avoiding the fall - and possibly a broken leg or arm.

"Thanks," Jihoon says and quickly retrieves his arm from Chanyeol's grasp. He puts both hands inside the pockets of his jeans and pretends that nothing happened, going down the four steps. "Anyway, I have to go, see you on Monday."

Chanyeol waves at him but Jihoon is already out of the building.

During the weekend, Chanyeol tries to do just like Jihoon showed him. He even looks for an empty notebook to write - or at least he tries to write.

It's not entirely successful but Chanyeol is going somewhere.

On Monday, Chanyeol is more than happy to report to Dongyoung the progress he made during the previous week.

"I'm glad you managed to figure a few things out," Dongyoung wraps the whole composing subject up and reaches for something behind the armchair he's sat. "This week I searched a little about your whole soulmate thing and I came across a few things on the internet."

"Really?" Chanyeol asks, curious. Dongyoung nods and flips over a bunch of papel he has now in hands. "What did you find out?"

"Nothing seems to be new," he replies and doesn't take his eyes off what he brought. "Most of the information was already years old and seemed to be very isolated cases. Have I ever asked to see your clock, Chanyeol?"

"I don't think so."

"May I?" Dongyoung asks and gets up from his seat when Chanyeol gives him permission. Chanyeol takes his wristwatch off and extends his arm to Dongyoung. "Interesting."

"What's interesting?" Chanyeol questions.

"Your clock is ticking," Dongyoung says and takes a closer look at Chanyeol's wrist. "Has it been like this the last time you looked at it?"

"No?" Chanyeol quickly looks at his clock, not quite believing what Dongyoung is saying but he is astonished when he sees it's not a lie. "This is not right."

"It looks like you've met your soulmate," Dongyoung comments and goes back to his armchair. "Do you have any idea when this might have happened?"

"No idea," Chanyeol says honestly. "I have bad memory, I rarely check this clock and I don't remember meeting anyone new."

"You should try to keep a look on people in this case," Dongyoung says and is about to add something when Chanyeol interrupts him by raising a hand. "Yes?"

"Have you ever met your soulmate?" Chanyeol asks and looks like a small child as he does so.

"I have," Dongyoung replies without hesitation and smiles down to his own wrist, running a finger over the black mark. "During my vacation in Japan."

"It must've been nice," Chanyeol smiles at the fondness in Dongyoung's voice. "And your soulmate must be a nice person."

"It _was_ nice," Dongyoung nods in agreement. "But my soulmate is an asshole."

Chanyeol is about to comment on that but Dongyoung bursts out laughing and he ends up laughing too.

When he gets to work, Chanyeol notices that Jihoon doesn't show up.

He decides to go to the break room and check if Jongdae is there.

"Hey," Jongdae calls as soon as Chanyeol enters the place. "Long time no see."

"Hey," Chanyeol says back and takes a seat next to his friend. "Where's Jennie?"

"Where she is supposed to be," Jongdae says and sips a large mug of tea. "The tutoring is over, it's been a month already."

Oh, right. Chanyeol forgot about that.

"That makes sense," he says and Jongdae looks confused. "Do you know where their studios are at?"

Jongdae nods as he sips some more of his drink.

"Sixth floor," he answers and puts the mug down. "Why?"

Chanyeol stands up and dusts his pants, he doesn't really know why he does that but he does.

"Nothing, just curious," Chanyeol answers. "See you around."

"But-"

Chanyeol leaves the break room and takes the stairs, he doesn't know why he's going up to Jihoon's studio but he just wants to check if he's there.

He knocks on the door with the plaque with _Lee Jihoon_ written on it and waits.

"Yes?" he hears shuffling from inside and just knocks again.

"Hello," Chanyeol greets him when the appears at the door. "I just wanted to make sure you're alright. I also wanted to know if I left behind something I should've explained to you."

"I don't think so," Jihoon says and takes a step back. "You were pretty helpful this past month and I'm thankful for that."

"I'm glad," Chanyeol says in relief and Jihoon nods at him. "That's all I wanted to know. Have a nice day," Chanyeol waves at him once and leaves, taking the stairs again and going back to his own studio. He passes by Jongdae one more time, waves at his friend, takes a cup of coffee from Jongdae's thermos and closes himself in the studio. He's not sure of what he should do but he doesn't turn the computer on, or anything else for that matter. He sits down on his couch, grabs a blanket and takes his notebook from his backpack.

He tries to write some lyrics. It doesn't work much but at least he knows he's tried.

"Do you think you're feeling better or is it still the same?" Dongyoung asks Chanyeol during their next therapy session.

"I feel better, at the same time that I have not improved that much. Does that make sense?" Chanyeol answers and tilts his head. "I feel like I have not moved from the same place even though I can feel the small changes. Meaning, I still feel like shit but I don't suffer as much when I go to work but I'm still not productive."

"That somehow makes sense," Dongyoung nods and pursues his lips. "I need to ask you to see a shrink. I feel like you might need to take some medication."

"Is that a bad thing?" Chanyeol asks cautiously.

"No, of course not," Dongyoung shakes his head and looks Chanyeol in the eyes. "Sometimes we need some help because we're not capable of making it up for a part just because we want to. It's most likely a physiology matter, depression is more than just feeling sad and not wanting to do things or live. Sometimes it's not being able to sleep or sleeping too much, or when you eat too much or can't eat properly. Or like when you mentioned that the things you used to do are not that enjoyable anymore or that you avoid going out with your friends and close yourself. Or when you called yourself useless, you know you're not useless, Chanyeol. I don't know if you ever thought about it or that you thought that you suddenly started feeling like this but your job demands too much of you, the pressure of always being productive is just too much for just one person and things like this can happen. It doesn't mean you'll need to take those meds forever, alright?"

"That makes sense," Chanyeol sighs in relief and leans on the couch, eyes closed. "A lot of sense, actually," he opens his eyes and looks at Dongyoung. "Alright, I'll go see a shrink as soon as I can. Do you have anyone to recommend me?"

The following day Chanyeol already manages to go to an appointment at the shrink Dongyoung recommended. It all goes well, he talks briefly about what he's going through and why he was sent there. By the end of his Tuesday, Chanyeol is starting his medication.

"There might be side effects but that's not a rule," said the shrink and Chanyeol nodded at him, a little apprehensive. "Don't be discouraged that you won't feel different right as you start taking it, these medications usually take around eight to twelve weeks to start working. You need to insist on it, I'll see you next month but if there's anything that matters, you should come see me sooner."

Chanyeol left the office in silence, unsure of how he felt about all of that but now he knows he's hopeful. He's walking towards change and, as scary as it is, he looks forward to it.

Sadly, some side effects decide to show up a week later. Chanyeol feels just a little bit dizzy when he stands up too fast.

"Hey," Jaehyung backs up from Chanyeol and gives him a concerned look. "You okay there?"

"Just a little tired," Chanyeol lies and grabs the used mug. He washes it in silence and the break room fills up with some more of his colleagues.

"Whoa there, Yeol," Jongdae says and reaches out for Chanyeol's right hand and turns the inside of his wrist up. "What's going on? You found your soulmate?"

Chanyeol pulls his hand back and stares at Jongdae in disbelief.

"Yes and no," he answers and Heeyeon stands behind Jongdae with curious eyes. "I don't know who's my soulmate."

"We need to find out," Jaehyung exclaims and Chanyeol groans, shaking his head. "No?"

"It'll happen if it is meant to," Chanyeol says more to get rid of their curiosity but believes his own words deep down. Jaehyung shuts up at that and even sits back down. "I have to go."

Chanyeol leaves the break room without another word.

_18:14:03:22_

The clock on Chanyeol's wrist keeps ticking and he's more and more confused as time passes. That, added to the still dizziness he's been feeling, although a lot weaker compared to when it first happened.

Chanyeol is utterly baffled at how he hasn't gotten anywhere with anything. A friend of his is getting married in five months and he has just recently gotten the invitation. He feels like he's being left behind.

It's early in the morning and the lounge is empty. Chanyeol takes a look at the front desk but it's not Joohyun's shift yet and Chanyeol doesn't quite know the new receptionists that well.

For some reason, Chanyeol's legs feel wobbly just as he's going up the four steps that lead to the elevator. He trips and almost falls face first on the floor.

"Careful," he hears a familiar voice. Jihoon seems to be making a lot of effort in hoisting him up. "I-"

His arms give in and Chanyeol's weight goes almost all down on the poor young man. He even tries to shift his position but Jihoon is still caught under him. A mark draws Chanyeol's attention and his eyes are glued to the clock inked in Jihoon's skin.

"I'd really appreciate if you got off me," Jihoon says with difficulty and Chanyeol stands up quickly, helping Jihoon up and staring him in the face with surprise. "What?" Jihoon says when he notices the way Chanyeol is looking at him, his cheeks get a little rosy colored at the intensity of his stare. "I know."

"You're my soulmate?"

"Yes," Jihoon replies calmly but still looks embarrassed.

"You knew?"

"I did."

"And you said nothing?"

"Not a word," Jihoon agrees and stares down at his feet.

"Why?" Chanyeol asks in confusion, he's not angry or anything but he knows that if it were him, he would've run to the person and jumped around them.

"I didn't want to make it weird," Jihoon mumbles and looks sheepish. "I know I'm difficult to deal with it in the beginning, I also make it seem like I'm a big asshole, but I'm kind of a helpless romantic deep down and I didn't know how you felt," Jihoon says it all in one breath and Chanyeol stares at him in surprise. "I still don't know, by the way."

There's a moment of silence after that. Jihoon looks down at his feet and Chanyeol takes a peek at him. He hasn't considered anything until now and he's not sure if he does but he remembers back when he was a kid how he longed and dreamed about his soulmate. He's not a kid anymore and, surely, his beliefs on life have changed a lot but he takes a good look at Jihoon, notices how his fists are balled and he's biting his lips. He's nervous.

"I'm willing to try," Chanyeol says and Jihoon looks up with wide eyes. "I'm not going to dive into this head first, I have a lot of things I'm still figuring out about myself and things I need to fix but if you want to, I'm willing to give it a chance."

"There's no need to rush, we're young and we have plenty of time," Jihoon comments and smiles at Chanyeol, Chanyeol is surprised because he hasn't seen Jihoon smile until now.

"I'm almost thirty," Chanyeol says and Jihoon snorts.

"That's young."

"Maybe," Chanyeol says and tries to take a sneaky glance at Jihoon's clock. "Did you know it since that day?"

Jihoon stops laughing and coughs.

"I did," he replies. "I check my clock every time I touch someone, accidental or not."

Chanyeol nods at his explanation and mentally compares how much they regard the whole soulmate thing with different views. He feels like this might work out with time. He's still figuring out his life and putting things back on its track, it'll take some time till then. As much as he does not believe in fate and the whole predestined story, Chanyeol thinks that a few things happen without it being just a coincidence. Sometimes it is meant to be, maybe it'll change his life.

He decides to give it a shot.

"Wanna go up for some coffee with me?" Chanyeol offers. Jihoon looks up at him with expectation in his eyes and accepts it.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks a lot for reading!!! If there are any questions regarding something, don't feel shy and ask away.


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